Before You Chase the Goal, Make Sure It’s the Right One

September has always seemed like a second New Year.

In summer the pace slows down and routines return; the air begins to alter, even if only a little, and there is usually a renewed wish to get things in order, refocus, and finish the year with a sense of satisfaction regarding the direction we're taking.

It is a great moment to go over our goals.

Before we consider how we are going to achieve this aim, there is perhaps an even more important question:

Is this the right goal for me?

We spend a great deal of time discussing discipline, motivation, consistency, perseverance, etc., and all of these factors are important. Yet we hardly ever talk about the realization that we may become extremely skilled at pursuing something which has never actually made us happy.

We are sometimes just heading in the wrong direction.

Not Every Goal Deserves Your Energy

We select certain goals since they truly excite us.

There are also goals that we select since we believe that we ought to want them.

Maybe we have taken in a notion of what success is supposed to look like.

Maybe it's the case that we are holding ourselves up to someone else's standards.

Perhaps we are still attempting to prove something—to ourselves, to our family, to those from our past, or even to people who are no longer part of our lives.

We sometimes carry on with our attempt to achieve a goal just because we have put so much time into it already.

Your time and energy are something that is very valuable.

A goal ought not only to appear attractive from the outside, but also to support the kind of life we really want to lead.

What Occurs When We Reach It?

One of my favorite questions to ask when thinking about a goal is:

How do I think I will feel if I achieve this?

More peaceful?

More confident?

More fulfilled?

More connected?

More creative?

Healthier?

Freer?

Basically, the emotion we hope to feel is hidden beneath the thing we say we want.

It is entirely acceptable to desire achievements, financial security, professional success, better health, a lovely home, or any of the other concrete goals. But it is worth considering what lies beyond the finish line.

Picture yourself six months or a year past having reached the goal.

What does your daily life look like?

What are you doing now?

Who are you becoming?

Does the goal result in more of the kind of life you want, or does it only provide you with another achievement to put on your list?

That distinction matters.

Choose Goals That Grow the Life You Want

I think of our goals like seeds in a garden.

There are many varieties that we can plant, but each seed needs something from us.

Time.

Attention.

Energy.

Patience.

Consistency.

In the end, the things that we decide to nurture start to occupy a place in our lives.

Which is why it is important to choose carefully.

Before you plant a goal, consider whether or not you really want the outcome that will result from it.

A goal that is suitable for you could still involve a great deal of effort. It might push you well beyond your comfort zone, and there could be setbacks along the way or days when motivation vanishes.

Underneath all the effort there is generally a feeling of meaning.

You know the reason for what you are doing.

A September Goal Reset

When we enter this new month, take some quiet minutes to look at the goals that are currently occupying space in your mind.

You might ask yourself:

• Do I still desire this?

• What is it about this objective that's important to me?

• Did I select it, or had I always been brought up to think that I should want it?

• What will I gain if I reach it?

• What effort will be necessary for me to put in?

• Does it support the kind of person I want to be?

• Will attaining it take me closer to the way I want to feel and to the way I want to live?

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And perhaps most importantly:

Even if no one else ever found out that I had achieved this, would I still desire it?

That question can tell you a lot.

You Are Allowed to Change the Goal

It does not count as a failure to change direction.

It can happen that growth involves coming to the realization that the goal you set yourself two years ago no longer suits the person you have become today.

You can make the necessary adjustments.

It can be made smaller.

It can be made larger.

You may set it aside entirely.

We have the possibility of selecting something different.

The fact that you don't need to keep pursuing something simply because you originally decided you wanted it means that there is a great deal of freedom.

Then, Take the Next Small Step

When you have truly decided that the goal is yours, the next stage becomes a lot simpler.

It's not necessary for you to work out the whole route today.

Choose one meaningful step.

Make the phone call.

Take the walk.

Write the first page.

Register for the class.

Prepare the healthier meal.

Send the email.

Set aside twenty minutes.

Begin.

Consistently carried out small actions have a remarkable tendency to result in change.

We usually think that change takes place in dramatic moments, but the most important kind of growth occurs in a quiet way, through the decisions we make over and over again when nobody is looking.

What Are You Planning to Grow This September?

At the start of September, maybe it isn't the best time to include ten more items on your list.

It might be the month when we should be more deliberate about deciding what should remain.

Select goals that seem meaningful to you.

Set goals which promote your well-being.

Set goals that will broaden your life rather than just filling it.

Choose goals that reflect who you are becoming rather than who you believe you are supposed to be.

And then tend to them patiently.

Because life has a way of growing toward what we consistently plant, nourish, and give our attention to.

This September, choose carefully what you want to grow.

Your future self will be living in the garden you begin tending today.

Christine Crawford Author of Nurturing Mind, Body, and Soul: Demystifying the Journey